Crime and punishment

Normally my patience with The Bubba is at levels I associate with Mother Theresa. I have only used spanking twice and it didn't have the desired affect, so I stick with talking to, taking things away, and timeouts but today I hit my absolute limit of him chasing the Black Dog, who had the pukey and bloody poopy all day yesterday. So right after he swatted her on the head with a pirate sword I swatted him n the butt with my hand. Which I like to think of as a built in pirate sword. Then I sat him on the couch and told him that from now on if he hit the dogs I was hitting him. Way to give a consequence you won't follow through on Ame. All I got from him was a dirty look so I thought "well maybe that will work." But one should never underestimate the power of a Bubba with a vendetta. While I read some emails, he proceeded to poop and pee on the couch. With me sitting right next to him. Now some may say that's par for the course when potty training, but I swear, when I said to him "did you just go potty on the couch?" he looked at me with complete satisfaction in his eyes.

Squeal Like A Pig Lane.

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Please take a look at our new Casa on Squeal Like a Pig Lane.

girl band

I'm considering starting an all girl band.

muchos grossos.

Yay, a new Mexican restaurant just opened in Paradise so I haul the whole fam damily out to dinner. So excited since, 1. I love mexican food and 2. I love love love margaritas. So off we go excited about the prospect of yummy fajitas in MotHman's case and anything with salsa verde and cheese and of course tequila in my case. I think the Bubba was just happy to be taking a ride. So we walk into "Agave" (seriously, a mexican restaurant named after the root of tequila has to be good. Right?) all agog with anticipation and excitement. We get seated and soon arrives the ubiquitous chips and salsa so of course we dig in. My judgement - chips not salty enough, salsa with an odd aftertaste. Still that didn't dampen my excitement over the thought of a MARGARITA! Noone can screw up tequila and lime juice. Right? Right?! Well evidently it can be done. Because I was so very thankful that I had ordered a small (thinking I could have 2 that way.) and didn't have to sit there watching a large margarita slowly sink to it's watery grave as the ice melted. So then along comes our comida. (that's food for you anglos) Muchos Grossos Senorita. The chicken in the fajitas was red. Maybe some special breed of chicken or maybe they were attempting to replicate the mexican flag. Now for all of you that don't know what a taquito is I'll explain. You take your shredded chicken and some cheese (cheddar, jack or my favorite, queso blanco) and roll it in a tortilla nice and tight about the size of a cigar, then you deep fry that sucker and yum yum. 

But what they give you at "Agave" (insert snort of derision) is chopped chicken with cheese "sauce" folded into a tortilla just like a buritto then pressed on a sandwich press. Personally I feel that a sandwich press has no business whatsoever in a mexican kitchen. Then they cut it into 3 pieces and served it as taquitos. My disappointment was the size of the Grand Canyon. 

We ate a little, then MotHman asked for a to go container. I looked at him like "WHAT?!" But he just scraped all that stuff right into the to go. And asked for la cuenta. Now let me just reiterate, we had:

Fajitas

Fake-o taquitos

1 Small margarita

1 Coors Light

And the grand total was $52.00

Agave es mucho loco!!!

 

Chairs. Part Trois

So I've solved the chair dilemna for the moment. I had seen some armed rattan and wicker dining chairs at Ballarddesigns.com and they were on sale and I had a promo code and they are offering free shipping, which brought them to $110 each. Great price, no? Well, actually, no. It turns out that though the shipping is technically free, there is a $29.95 processing fee. And if that wasn't enough to make me say Jesus in front of the choir there was also a $30 oversized package fee. Per chair. So while the chairs are a great price at $110 they do not fit my definition of a great price at, let's see $220 + $29.95 + 60 = $309.95.  So each chair was then $154.63. And did I mention that to get them at the $110 price I would have had to buy "Red" chairs and then paint them white since I do not want to own red chairs. So anyhoo, it did at least give me the idea to look at some armed dining chairs. haha, dining chairs toting little AK47s. I should say dining chairs with arms. and that sent me to Target, which then sent me to WalMart, which led me to these beauties than can be left as they are or painted and will be oh so much more comfortable with the great cushions I'm hoping I can convince The Gran to make for them. And since they are "outdoor" furniture I can use them on my porch. That is if I ever have a porch again, since technically the new house (in Deliverance County, on Squeal like a Pig Lane - that's another post) doesn't have a porch. Yet. 

Pants.

Should I worry that The Bubba would be quite happy to go anywhere in the world with no pants on. A shirt? Yeah, gotta have that. Shoes? Absolutely, no outfit would be complete. Pants? mmmm, no thanks. 

any dish will do.

I worry about this one some days.

I also likey.

This is the couch we have. It's a bit greeny sort of grayish and I'm going to work hard to make it appear as "not green" as possible.

This is the couch we want to add to the mix. Yummy down filled cushions.

The chair search is a little detour until we bank the cash to buy the leather couch.  

hmmm....

I likey. And only $299 with the ottoman.

Have a seat

I'm on the hunt for 2 chairs. It's going to be a bit before we have the cash for The Man of the Houses' (here forward known as MotHman) dream couch, so I need a few extra seats for visitors. I've got my eye on the Kipas chair from Pier 1 but it may be too red. I just want a couple of accent chairs to use "for now" that I can also use elsewhere when the couch dream comes true. We're trying to keep it under $100 per chair so if you have a suggestion gently lob it over to me.

 this is the Kipas from Pier 1 Imports 

cave in.

So, yes, I caved. I decided to try to make this blog a little more "readable for everyone". That's not to say there won't be a curse word here or there since, sadly, that's how I talk. You should have heard me when I was preggers, all that testoterone from Bubba surging right up through my words. So anyway, the tone I had set with the previous post was buggin me (and the Gran - haha) so I deleted it. 

Today let's talk about moth balls. Not the male moths reproductive organs but the stinky little balls of god only knows what that have invaded my life. The Florida Mimi has spread them EVERYWHERE. She's raging a war against lizard poop. Not necessarily lizards, just their poop. So anywhere there is poop a mothball is sure to be found. Unfortunately this has caused a pervasive stink all around our house. Thank God it hasn't permeated the inside, yet. The laundry room is filled with them and so there is no lazy happening with laundry chores. I'm terrified that my clean laundry will take on the scent and I'll go out into the world smelling like someone's great great great aunt Mildred. No offense to great great great aunts or anyone named Mildred. 

Time Change Smime Change

The last time change had Bubba up so screwed up I felt like I had a newborn, so I approached this morning like mission impossible. After the requisite diaper change (performed lovingly by the man of the house) I laid perfectly still for 28 minutes, then ever so slowly raised my head only to see a wee arm flailing about in the crib. Head back down and shallow breathing for another 12 minutes. Sliding silently from under the covers I slid to the floor in a move that could only be described as catlike and steathily crawled on hands and knees past the crib to the door. Opening it as quietly as I could, I slid through the miniscule opening only to come face to butt with Yellow Dog's tail which started wagging with ferocity in anticipation of some new game. After making a horrible shush face at her I slid the lower half of my body out of the doorway and popped up like a drunk jack in the box. Yellow Dog not having gotten the hint that this was a mission, not a game jumped up and proceeded to beat the armoir like a drum with her tail. As my heart stopped for fear that the noise would wake Bubba I quickly shut the bedroom door. Looked at Yellow Dog with murder in my eyes and stood statue like for 2 minutes. 

It worked! Ah sweet alone time. And worth every cent of my diginity. 

she could be my twin.

Dontcha think? 

holy crap

Stickers and markers and toys oh my. My house looks like a container ship destined for toysrus blew up in it. Or like a 2 year old was let loose on a rampage. Oh wait that's what happened. I haven't reached my breaking point yet or there would be serious consequences for Bubba-Licious. Instead I just have moments of panic and then minutes of cleaning. The Gran swears that she was able to get my precious 2 year old self to only take one toy at a time out of the playroom. And that if I, in all of my preciousness would dare to try to bring even 1 more toy into the main house she only had to look at me, with a stern yet loving glance and I would toddle my precious behind right back ino the playroom. I've decided that either boys are harder to raise than girls or she was smoking some really good weed.